If you could go back in time and warn yourself about what’s happening in 2020, what would you say? In the past couple of months, there’s been this Youtube craze of people warning their past selves about everything that’s coming. Since I prefer writing to acting, I decided to write a play-style script about the June 2020 Susan warning the December 2019 Susan.
Note: Please ignore the time/space contradiction. You’ve been putting up with worse things than plot holes lately.
Setting: my sofa.
Time: December 2019.
Characters: Susan in December 2019 (we’ll call her December for short) and Susan in June 2020 (we’ll call her June).
December is reading a book.
June suddenly appears.
December looks shocked and puts her book down.
December: “Who are you?”
June: “I’m your future self, Susan, coming from June 2020 to warn you.”
December: “That’s impossible! There’s no such thing as time travel. Science won’t have advanced that far in six months— wait? Did you just say ‘warn’?”
June: “Yeah—that’s right! I’m here to tip you off on a few things. Now, I’m not allowed to say things that have global implications, just a few personal tips on how to get ready.”
December: “Ready— for what? Is something horrible going to happen to me? Or my family?”
June: “No… not horrible. That’s not quite the right adjective.”
December: “What is the right adjective?”
June: “Weird. Strange.”
December: “Okay… so you say ‘global’? This weirdness is going to be global?”
June: “Oh yes. But don’t worry too much. Your life won’t hugely change. You’ll still be living at the same house. In fact, you’ll be very glad you’re not living alone in some apartment.”
December: “Will my family all be okay?”
June: “So far, so good. I’ve made it to June and everyone you love is doing well.”
December (looking relieved): “Will I lose my job or something?”
June (chuckling): “Oh no. In fact, remember all that elastic you photographed for the website? And the cotton fabric? And the canning supplies?”
December (snorts): “I can’t forget. We might never sell some of that stuff.”
June: “Never underestimate how market trends can change, Susan.”
December: “Okay, well, this doesn’t sound too bad. Wait, does this involve politics? Is it about Trump getting impeached?”
June: “Hmm, oh yeah, that’s right. He did get impeached. I forgot.”
December: “So it’s not about politics?”
June: “Well, partly. Maybe mostly. Depends on who you want to believe.”
December: “Is this ‘weird stuff’ you speak of going to cause a lot of confusion? Cause, no offense, but you sound a little confused, Susan.”
June (looks glassy eyed): “So many theories… so much talk of conspiracy.”
December (impatiently): “Well, that won’t bother me. I don’t believe in conspiracy theories. The moon landing, 9/11, and the Resurrection all happened. Conspiracy theories are nonsense.”
June (chuckles): “Hang on to that determination, Susan. You’ll need it.”
December (thoughtfully): “So politics is involved, somehow… Hard to imagine how. Government decisions don’t really affect most of us on an everyday basis.”
June: “That can change.”
December: “That’s a little scary. But us Christians… we’ll all agree on stuff, right?”
June: “Hah! You have much to learn, Grasshopper. Speaking of learning, you might want to brush up on subjects like government policy making and statistics.”
December (sarcastic): “Sounds exciting. Anything else I should study?”
June: “Epidemiology”
December: “Epi— what?!”
June: “And while we’re on the subject, Susan… early next year you’re going to get a cold, or maybe it was a flu bug. I can’t remember. So, make sure you write down the symptoms, duration, etc.”
December: “Why, if it’s just a bug? I get those every winter.”
June (shaking head): “It’s not ‘just a bug’, Susan. It’s an infectious disease.”
December: “Huh?”
June: “But on the brighter side, you have some things going for you, Susan. You can sew and you hate watching pro sports.”
December: “I have no idea how those two could possibly be related.”
June: “You also made some smart travel choices. You had that long layover and went exploring in downtown Seattle in June 2019… good timing there.”
December: “Thanks. Hey, what other tips do you have for me?”
June: “In January and February, make sure you go out to eat a lot.”
December: “Why?”
June: “Cause you won’t be allowed to pretty soon.”
December (wrinkles eyebrows): “Am I going on some kind of extreme diet (sounding distressed, then hopeful) and get real thin? But, wait, you don’t look that different.”
June: “It’s not quite like that, unfortunately. But you will save money.”
December: “That’s always good.”
June: “Yup. And your family members will report record low credit-card bills. They’ll say shopping isn’t fun anymore.”
December: “Okay. Any more suggestions?”
June: “One more: In the first week of March, go to the library and check out a HUGE stack of books. I mean, like a hundred books.”
December: “Huh? I usually don’t have the time to read more than a few books before I have to return them in two weeks.”
June: “Sometimes two weeks gets pretty long. And make sure you get happy books, Susan. Light-hearted stuff. Not so much of those depressing non-fiction books you like to read.”
December: “Okay…”
June: “I have to go now, back to the future. Count your blessings. Keep the faith. Keep learning, including learning when to keep your mouth shut. Keep your sense of humor, and remember there are brighter days ahead!
Interesting read ! These really are strange times ! Keeping the faith and a sense of humor is imperative.
Thanks, Brenda! I had fun writing this. Honestly, this all has been a great learning experience.
This is great! So fun to read.☺️
Thanks, Ruth Anna! I’m glad you enjoyed it.
This is great! 😉😅
Happy you liked it, Karen!